TRAFFIC COURT...NOT AT ALL AS SEEN ON TV

Traffic court was quite possibly the most boring experience of my life. Lucky for me, boring can also be educational.


First of all, I never want to end up at traffic court in Hillsborough County. Floriland office park is really not a “safe” area. When the security guards have to scream at a man that his friend cannot park in front of the entry doors and must move his car, you know you’re not in the best place.

Any place that has not one, but four signs reminding people that their children must remain with them at all times, is not a place I’d like to be.

Upon entry to the courtroom, the police officer advises me that tomorrow would be a better day to come and I instantly know this will be a few hours of my life, wasted. I vaguely wonder if I should just bail and come back tomorrow, but no, I decide to stick through to the end.

As with all government agencies, the “event” started fifteen minutes late and under the threat of silence or expulsion. The judge issues an explanation of three possible pleas: not guilty, guilty, no contest. Then like cattle to a slaughter the proceedings being with a line of people with last names beginning with A, B, or C.

The people scatter forward in a race to be first in line, even though the judge calls you out in alphabetical order. The names are read too quickly to be sure of catching correctly and the people are so quiet in their responses I’m at a loss to catch their pleas.

D,E,F…

In an attempt to write down everyone’s name I inevitably miss out on a few, and some of the names were clearly original and the spelling of them a complete mystery.

G,H,I…

And don’t try to catch people on the way out because you’re not allowed to speak to them or you’ll be kicked out, and they certainly aren’t going to wait to get as far away as possible.

J,K,L…

At the very end, only if everyone else has gone and there is still time left on the clock, the judge will see people in shorts. Shorts are not permitted in the courtroom apparently. Neither are bare midriffs.

M,N,O…

Gum and newspapers are also prohibited.

…..and so on and so forth.

In layman terms, I never want to go to traffic court or EVER have to cover it for a story.